Bernard Dov Wisser's
Journal of advice, opinion, and ventilation...also raps about art, spirituality, being a human being and everything else....
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Monday, October 28, 2002
Shhhhh…They might hear us! Al Qaeda is Listening and Watching! Now that Battyman John Allen Muhammad ,and his dusty side kick John Lee Malvo have been captured, arrested and arraigned in two states they are stirring up a few bees nests on at least two issues; that of jurisdiction to prosecute, and the debate over the fingerprinting of firearms.
However, worse than that, those two fiends have darkened the atmosphere of our planet with a hushed up nightmare scenario to end all nightmare scenarios which will stir up the hackles of every human being everywhere if hasn't already started to do so.
For those two mediocre hacks have provided Al Qaeda and their allies with one of the most economical and creative terrorist schemes ever created. Moreover, it’s one battle plan that has the potential to bring a high-tec military-financial-industrial Corporate State society to its knees. I personally am not too interested in the jurisdiction issue, i.e. which state or whether the federal government, can provide the best guarantee of a two spit human barbecue—which sounds to me on the same order of consciousness shared by those two kooky human hunter buddies—if that is all they were.
All I really care about is that in my imagination back at the “Camel Ranch” the emaciated Ben Mid-East Shmendrick and his cronies were rubbing their hands together, giggling with glee as they made their plans to usurp and upgrade Battyman's Killing tactics of innocents. One wonders what Arabic quips they were trading with each other as they followed live coverage of the human hunt of lives being quietly and tragically ended.. They must have looked in awed delight, and wonder as they watched the wide scale terror in a three state area that could be evoked by one or two men, a rifle, a sniper scope, and a silencer (a tool that every self respecting NRA card holder should own. After all if you kill a burglar in your living room you don’t want to wake up you wife and neighbors—leave that to the men in blue with their sirens blasting.)
I’ll concede I’m a little more intelligent than some of my beloved fellow Americans and vice verse, but I am sure there are plenty of guys with Red and White Ali Baba headdresses adorning their heads that are as smart or even smarter than some of us too. So if I can deduce what I did deduce they probably had grasped the same possibilities —hours before myself—for I don't think I have a terrorist bone in my body.
And they are not the only ones. There are probably hundreds of smart whiz kid yuppie journalist who had become hip to the future those events have hinted at…and yet they are not writing about it…one can't help but wonder why. I can’t imagine that George W. and Dr. Strange Charm his Secretary of defense has hushed the press while they are planning a series of 'preemptive strikes on bullet factories—can you?
Now if two guys can cause so much terror in three states: Kids staying home from school. Kids at school not being able to go out in the schoolyard. People afraid to tank up at the local gas station. No one daring to go out for a recreational walk. People minimizing their visits to the mall and the movie theatres, etc.. Then what could fifty guys outfitted with high-powered rifles, sniper scopes, and silencers reap. I think they would hit the terror bell and win the prize of rich Saudi Princes supporting their families in splendid comfort for life.
Let’s say each of the sniper terrorist was assigned too a different region of the land and they randomly would switch regions, according to some predetermined schedule or some instruction received from the web, What would that do in terms of the intensity of terror it engendered? How much more difficult would it be to find the culprits—if each drove a different make of car and had five rifles to use. What if the rifles used in the killing of innocents were sporadically picked up and exchanged, etc. Is that a Nightmare? What if they focused mainly on children, and then changed their pattern, according to race, hair color, type of location, and then changed the pattern over and over again. Am I irresponsible for spelling it out? Well, I got news for you it is only sensible to believe it has already been spelled out by Al Quaeda and Ben feh Shmendrick.
Now you might tell me (like my nephew does) “that weapons don’t kill --people do’’ but that would give him little comfort if it was his wife, grand child or kitten who was snuffed out of existence…moreover, I don’t think if Batty and his side kick were using a b.b. Gun they would have caused the same order of terror, which they achieved—so that in itself indicates the weapon posses some level of culpability.
What if out of self-righteous fury and fervor Christian fundamentalist fanatics did the onward Christian Soldier Bit and started popping off innocent Moslems. Then Ben Feh Shmendric and his red and white head covered buddies would have achieved the end they have been seeking all along, which is an all out Jihad. What do they have to lose-- they all expect they will get twenty sirens in heaven for their supreme efforts.
And the horror of the whole thing is no guns would even have to be smuggled into the USA land of Everyman having a POP-POP. Heck they could buy what they need in hardware stores, drugstores, probably even some beauty shops (thanks to Charlston Heston) all over America the Beautiful, Land of the Free to Hunt and Kill. In the name of freedom we can lose the most basic securities like going on a picnic in an open field…smart...you gun lovers…
Okay we got to accent the positive eliminate the negative…so what do we do to prevent this scenario from becoming actualized…we have to act … before its too late. The mandatory finger printing of all new weapons, and already owned weapons with stiff sentences for those found with a non fingerprinted weapon, and life sentences for ones used in a crime, is a good start…any other ideas? Send them in. Want to bitch about my pink, punk pervert ideas, write them in to my e-mail address I will publish them if they are not too vulgar.
Well that’s it for now Good day and Good night—Boobalahs and remember Captain Bernard wishes you well…may peace follow you the rest of your life….
PS What Good would George W’s beloved defensive missile shield or our smart bombs do in stopping this scenario?
I’m going to try to make this a five day a week column, but I might miss a day now and then. If you are smart or not so smart you will solicit my advice—it’s free… You are also invited to send me your criticism, or you can contribute your own material for publication. Tune in tomorrow…and check out Marvel Place http://www.marvelplace.20fr.com and if you would like to link up to either Marvel Place or http://HodgepodgeBlog.blogspot.com Also, you can also link to this website by using my new quick redirect URL: http://clik.to/BernardDovWisser I sure would appreciate it. Click Here, for a Great Art Site worth checking out. ![]() SRC=http://wwar.com/wwar1.gif>
Volume 1, issue 3, Oct 28, 20002
posted by Bernard at Monday, October 28, 2002
http://hodgepodgeblog.blogspot.com/
posted by Bernard at Monday, October 28, 2002
Sunday, October 27, 2002
I Am Attracted to Whopper Size Potbellies! Am I Perverse?Whoopee! I just received my first request for advice at my captainmarvelnl@yahoo.com e-mail address! So here I go with the advice…I can’t believe I am doing this for free…when I have friends doing the same thing and making a few hundred thousand bucks a year.
First, here is the message: Dear Bernard,
I have just finished reading your blog on Richard Harris RIP. I enjoyed it very much and I must say I was touched by it. I have a feeling you are both an erudite and compassionate fellow, so I wonder if you would be good enough to advise me on a problem, I’m embarrassed to discuss with anyone including my wife.
I must inform you I am a “closet” married bisexual. Oh, my wife knows about it but nobody else does. She understands my leaning and has no objections to my enjoying sex with my own gender now and then, if I practice safe sex, which of course I do.
So you see bisexuality is not my problem. What is troubling me is that in recent months I have been almost exaggeratedly attracted to men with whopper size potbellies. This has me quite concerned I feel like drooling and groping a man when I spy he has a whopper belly. I am so perplexed by this sudden attraction of mine. What do you think? have I become perverse? Do you have any suggestion or insights to give me. I would really appreciate your help.
Here is my answer Mr. Attracted. First of all it is not unusual for people of any gender or sexual persuasion to be attracted to Whopper parts of the human anatomy. However, that being said, I must admit that I have never heard of someone attracted to Whopper size potbellies. But that means little since my sample of people I have talked with about such matters is not very large and probably not statistically significant.
So I can’t help asking myself how come you are perplexed by finding whopper potbellies a delicious delight and are not perplexed about finding the sexual organs and secondary sexual characteristics of both sexes perplexing. Could it be that whopper potbellies are a esthetic cultural “no”, “no” in most of the Western World? Aren’t we conditioned to be ashamed of our own potbellies (whoppers or not) and to avert our eyes from others. All I know is you better keep away from the actor John Goodman who was in the film the Big Lebowski, if you don’t want to flood the floor with your drool.
I hope you will forgive me for seeming to make light of your problem, but I’m trying to set a good example for you. Laugh at yourself and the whole world laughs with you (you hope) but take an unusual predilection seriously with angst and they will give it to you good.
I hope you get my gist but I doubt it since I am just getting it myself. Your problem seems to be cerebrally and cognitively based, and much or our esthetic standards are too. So for me the gist of your problem is not why or what but it boils down to transcending cultural conditionioning and your own heavily conditioned (to values) perceptionsl.
So let me relate to you Mr. Attracted To a practice of my own that has changed my life and which may help erase some of the anxiety you are feeling about your currant prediection.
I initiated this practice in the Sixties at a time that I was first consciously trying to follow a spiritual path to follow which would help alleviate my feeling that somehow in someway I was missing the boat. At first I was a bit shallow in my approach feeling that doing yoga exercises (asanas) wearing white gossamer clothing adorned with beads of seeds, and garnishing my self in bracelets was on the path. But one day after reading Be Here Now, for the fortieth or fiftieth time backwards and forwards and upside down, I asked myself, “If on the Cosmic Level all is perfect” what is all this visceral, behavioral, and verbal commotion about ugliness and beauty. Therefore I created a practice that I decided to follow for one year. I vowed to transcend and short-circuit my conditioned reactions to the so-called “disgusting and ugly”. I forced myself to look at piles of animal feces that pet owners thoughtlessly left in the street. Finding a pile of drunkard regurgitation on a subway seat was a great chance to practice by sitting next to it and focusing my sensory organs on it. Taking deep breaths and letting its smell inundate my olfactory tissues was a must. I used the same practices for all rotting and disintegrating, biological byproducts, such as different mucous products. Puss was a plus. I can’t count the hours I spent checking out every disintegrating details of the elderly, the fine detail of maimed body parts of those who crossed my path. I can’t tell you how many women I dated with visible moles and scars and amputations.
Now Mr. Attracted To I should think you might already feel some alleviation of your anxiety about your current predicament when you compare it to my practices at that time. However, one of deepest experiences I had at that time was watching the disintegration of potato plant that I had placed in a glass of water on a table in the rear of my loft by sticking toothpicks all around it. At the time I was spray painting in a spray booth at the rear of the loft. At first the potato grew into a lovely plant and I enjoyed watching it grow and flourish. It was almost like a perverse diversion from focusing on those things I have already described. However shortly after that I stopped spraying and started painting on my easel in the front of the loft. A few days later I discovered the wilting potato plant again, its leaves wilted and skin drying out and puckering. I watched it for days. I wish I had a daily time lapse film of it for I began to see a form of beauty in that dying plant of a sort I had never experienced, probably because weeks before I would have thrown the potato out when I first saw it was dying. Around the same time I saw a picture of Georgial Okeefe the reminded me of a human version of that potato residing in the glass of water. She was beautiful.
No Mr Attracted to I never became ecstatic over the smell of a pile of poop and wanted to adorn myself with it like my dog Mazel. However I have a million times less nerve s in my nose than Mazel so I miss most of the delicious overtones that make poop into Chanel for her. But I must say I no longer panic if I got some of that brown or tan stuff on my hands and when I had to I could clean a dying person’s tush, and clean my love ones vomit with no real hassle when she was deathly ill. Still what I use to call nice looking became more beautiful to me by the end of that year, and so it went up the scale of my usual esthetics.
The point is Mr Attracted to maybe unconsciously you have embarked on a spiritual practice. Good for you! Relax and Enjoy.
All right that is it for volume 1 issue # 2. I’m going to try to make this a five day a week column, but I might miss a day now and then. If you are smart or not so smart you will solicit my advice—it’s free… You are also invited to send me your criticism, or you can contribute your own material for publication. Tune in tomorrow…and check out Marvel Place http://www.marvelplace.20fr.com and if you would like to link up to either Marvel Place or http://HodgepodgeBlog.blogspot.com You can also link to me at my new quick redirect URL: http://clik.to/BernardDovWisser I sure would appreciate it.
Click Here, for a Great Art Site worth checking out. ![]() SRC=http://wwar.com/wwar1.gif>
posted by Bernard at Sunday, October 27, 2002
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